Disappointed!

I haven't talked much about running lately. We are on week 8 of running, and things had been going really well for me. I was feeling really strong and was following the C25K program to a "T". Over the last week or so I have really started to struggle. We had been running at Millard North's track, which really seemed a lot easier than running at Standing Bear. The scenery was not as nice, but the softness of the track and the lack of hills seemed to make running easier. We have since moved back to Standing Bear to endure more realistic race-like conditions to prepare for the August 15 race.

Sometime last week is when I feel like I really started to struggle, and I'm not 100% sure why. I feel like I'm not accomplishing what I wanted to out of running. Sure, I have definitely made huge strides since starting the program 8 weeks ago, but I don't feel like I'm gaining any energy or anything from it. I'm tired all of the time, and now my milk supply is suffering greatly. Macy only gained 0.5 oz in 10 days, and that is not good. Her pediatrician is rightly concerned about her and me. I'm losing weight like crazy, and I feel really unhealthy. I know I shouldn't be complaining about losing weight, but I lost 4 lbs. last week which brought me below what I weighed when I got married. This is not a healthy weight loss. I think part of my problem is I am not taking in enough calories in a day to compensate for breastfeeding and for running 3 times a week. My body just isn't getting enough energy for the energy I am expending. I am trying to make a conscious effort to eat more in spite of being on this MSPI diet. I have to have something change soon, not really for my running, but more for Macy. I desperately want to keep breastfeeding, but I know that she needs to stay healthy.

I am really disappointed in myself for letting things get to this point. I was really excited about losing weight, especially having to fit in a bridesmaid dress, but I think I let things get out of hand. I didn't really think about the repercussions of skipping meals here or there.

I am now to the point that I'm not sure I will be able to continue running over the next few weeks until I get things under control. Last night when we ran I was only able to run for 5 minutes before I was completely exhausted. I had to walk the rest of the way back to the car, and even that was a struggle for me. I had been running about 10 minutes at a time for about 20 minutes total each run. I think I'm going to try to take it easy for at least a week to try to get back some of my energy and start eating better. Hopefully I will be able to continue my quest to accomplish the 5K, but more importantly, hopefully Macy starts packing on the pounds and I can continue to breastfeed.